Category: News

Once, I missed the bus to go to school. But I had a test that day and didn’t want to be late. So I tried to hitch a ride. A van stopped, and the driver seemed “normal”. I showed him the direction where I wanted to go with my arm, telling him where I wanted to go. He said that he needed to stop to get petrol and stopped in an empty garage. I tried to make him understand that I was in a hurry and signed « straight ahead ». He touched my breast, stuck out his tongue and showed me his penis. So I pushed back his hand and continued signing authoritatively « straight ahead, hurry up, I’ve got a test ! ». Finally, he drove me to school. I ran inside and started crying and told my story, and my test was postponed. 

When I was 15, my boyfriend used to force me to have sex with him. So I discovered a trick:  every time he tried to force himself on me, I would punch my knee against his groin and pretend I didn’t do it on purpose. Usually, he would stop then. But once, as I did so, he started to hit me and wouldn’t let me leave. So I went to my father, and together we told my boyfriend, “it’s over, get out!” I felt ashamed but I had been looking for a solution for a long time already.

Once I was on the underground, and several young men entered the coach. They made a lot of noise, and that bothered me. I asked them to keep it down. One of them came towards me and shouted in my ear: “And who will stop me?!” He continued shouting at me and sat next to me. I punched him on the nose, and silence fell upon the coach. I opened my white cane, stood up and got off at the next station. I am sure I broke his nose.

For my volunteer work for a violence prevention project, I was invited to speak at an award ceremony. For that occasion, I had an appointment at the hairdresser’s. When I arrived at the salon, they told me to come back another day. I told them loudly and with determination: “No, I have an appointment, I am a client just like the others, even if I have a learning disability. You have to serve me. I have to go to Namur to give a speech, I’ve got obligations today.”

I used to have coffee in a bar with a ramp in my neighbourhood. One day, I realised that they had installed a terrace partially on the access ramp and I couldn’t pass with my wheelchair. I asked to see the manager. He apologised, but when I went back, the tables still were in my way. A friend and I called the bar and insisted on speaking with the manager. He told us that he didn’t want us at the bar. I told him that that was discrimination, and we filed a complaint. The bar then took away some terrace tables so that the ramp became accessible again.

I was riding in an accessible transport van. I was the only passenger and saw that the driver looked at me in a threatening way through the rearview mirror. When we arrived at my place, I took the initiative and said, “Here we are.” He said, “You are not yet on the sidewalk.” I looked straight into his eyes and answered, “No, but I know that I will be there shortly.” Then he helped me off the bus.

All through secondary school, teachers humiliated me because of my spelling. When I went to university, one of the professors was particularly aggressive about my “unacceptable” spelling. I sent her an email: “I am sending you my course work for your seminar. I hope that my proofreaders did not miss too many mistakes. I have dysorthographia and dyslexia, which explains the mistakes in the mails I sent you. Please accept my apologies.” She answered: “It is brave to go into social sciences when you are dyslexic, but many students make a lot of spelling mistakes without being dyslexic, they are just ignorant and careless. You do well to warn me so that I don’t get angry.” Later, she congratulated me again, and it boosted my confidence.

A colleague harassed me sexually at work. One day, he put me in an arm lock and forced me to go to an empty room. I remembered a sentence from my self-defence class: “which parts of my body are free? Which parts of his body are accessible?” I used my other hand to scratch his face with all my strength. He let me go, he even had some blood drops on his shirt. My defence stopped the attack.

In my care home, there lives a man who often entered my room without asking me. I already had told him several times to stop that. After a self-defence workshop, I practiced with a caregiver to tell him “Get out of my room!”, getting up from my bed, standing squarely in front of him, looking straight into his eyes and speaking firmly. When he came again into my room, that’s what I did. He immediately left and never did it again.

I was in my room. Sometimes Julian comes over. He also lives here. We get along well. We listen to music together. One time Julian came and said that he liked me. And I said that I liked him, too. And he said, ok, I am your boyfriend now. And I wasn’t sure. He said, when you are boyfriend and girlfriend, then you kiss. I didn’t want to kiss, but I thought that maybe, it was ok. And then Julian said that we had to take off our clothes. He had seen that in a film. But I didn’t want to take off my clothes and I pushed him hard two times so that he went away. And then I left my room. I didn’t know what to do and so I looked for Angelika. That is one of our caregivers. I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid that I had done something wrong. I cried. Angelika asked me what happened. And I said: “Julian said he is my boyfriend and kissed me and… I don’t want to!” Angelika said that I’ve done everything right and that I am brave. That was good! The caregivers then had a talk with Julian. First I wanted him to move to another group. But he still lives here. He does not have the right to enter my room! We still listen to music together, in the kitchen.